Finally, I Learned (Finally, I am Learning)

The word “evangelism” causes different reactions in different people. For some, it brings a sense of excitement. For others, discomfort and dread. And then there are others who have neither a positive nor negative reaction; evangelism is neutral to them. For my whole life, I’ve probably fit into that third category. I knew evangelism was important but I was never actively doing anything about it.

Fast forward through my childhood, teen years, university. Now here I am in Guatemala as a missionary, and until recently I continued to have the same mindset. I’m not sure where I got this idea, but I’ve lived my Christian life thinking that I can show Christ to people mostly by my actions. After all, “actions speak louder than words” and that famous quote, “preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.”

Maybe that’s true in some cases, but Jesus used words. He used actions and words. So here I am in Guatemala – I’ve opened maternity centers, delivered babies, helped a lot of people. My actions have been good. I’m going on 4.5 years of being in Guatemala. The first three years, I spoke very few important words with my many actions. Sometimes I prayed for my patients with them during an appointment. When I would tell a new mom that we found a formula sponsor for her malnourished baby, I would always tell her that God loves her very much and hasn’t abandoned her. I’m ashamed to say that that was the extent of my “preaching the gospel with words.” What I was doing wasn’t enough, but I justified myself because my actions were good.

Then I married Peniel, who falls into the first category of people. He’s someone who is excited by evangelism! He can effortlessly turn any conversation into a spiritual conversation. I overhear his conversations with his patients, and often it ends with the patient in tears because he/she is overcome by the presence of God. He is fearless. He understands that he is an ambassador of Christ, and that his responsibility is to “bring salvation to the ends of the earth” (Acts 13:47). He isn’t worried about rejection or what people think of him; he is worried about what God thinks of him. He is worried about where people will spend eternity. I’ve learned a lot from him.

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Sometimes I imagine this conversation….

I’m standing before the throne of God, and He asks me why I should be allowed into heaven. He asks me for an account of what I’ve done on earth. How have I furthered his kingdom on earth?

• I tell him “Well, I went to serve you in Guatemala and I worked with mothers and babies, and I gave them really good care. They often told me that. They were very grateful.”
• He says, “and did you tell them about Me?”
• “Yes, I told them you love them.”
• “Did you tell them they need me?”
• “Well, I told them that you are always with them and that you have a plan for them.”
• “Did you invite them to give their lives to me?”
• “Well…I didn’t want to impose on them… but I’m sure they could they could see Jesus through my actions.”

And at that point in the conversation, I hang my head in shame because I realize that I have had the opportunity to invite hundreds of women to Christ, and I didn’t do it. Why didn’t I do it?

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At the beginning of this year I knew that something had to change because a maternity/nutrition clinic that has no eternal purpose has no earthly purpose.

This was new for me. I’m not used to “evangelism”. In youth group as a teenager sometimes we went to the malls to hand out tracts. When I came to Guatemala as part of discipleship groups, we had designated days of evangelism where we would go out into the community and talk to people.

…but in my own personal life, with my own circles of people? This was new for me. So we made practical changes in our clinic, such as opening a few extra hours in the afternoon so that we could schedule each appointment for 45 minutes instead of 30 minutes. This would give us more time to talk to each patient. Part of what I had to do was change my mindset – I’m not just a nurse anymore, I’m an ambassador of Christ. There are no rules here about not talking about God in the workplace… that is literally my job description! My “job” is to make disciples first and foremost.

I started praying that God would help me see things through his eyes. You know what I started to feel?

I started to feel the sadness that I imagine God feels when someone tells me they don’t believe in God. He created all of us, and many people don’t want anything to do with Him. That is sad.

I felt the sadness that I imagine God feels when someone tries to find answers in witchcraft, or when someone prays to every single saint, but not to Jesus. That is sad.  

I started to feel urgency because any of these women could die tomorrow and God gave me an opportunity to invite her to have eternal life in Christ. And I felt urgency because I know the truth and so many of our patients are trapped in the lies that they believe are truth. 

God has so much to say to our patients, and we are his mouthpieces. What good is a mouthpiece that doesn’t talk? Yes, we are also his hands and feet, but we also have mouths.

I decided that it’s not good enough telling a woman that God loves her. What she needs to know is that there are two paths in life, one goes to heaven and the other to hell (Matthew 7:13-14). She needs to know that she needs to choose which path to be on because we are all sinners and the consequences of sin is death (Romans 10:13, Matthew 7:13, Romans 6:23). She needs to know that she’s not automatically on the road that goes to heaven (Romans 3:23). She needs to know that Jesus isn’t just another saint, but His death and resurrection is the only way to get onto the narrow road (John 14:6). She needs to know that when she prays to the saints, she is not praying to God. God loves her, yes. And that is precisely the reason that I, as an ambassador for Christ need to share these truths with her (2 Cor 5:20).

So one day I took a deep breath and shared all of that with one of my patients. Because she needs the truth and I have the truth! Her name is Maria. She was 36 weeks pregnant with her first baby and her baby was breech, and I told her she would likely need a c-section if the baby doesn’t change position.

Imagine the lead-up to a cesarean in the mountains of Guatemala:

• There is no scheduling the operation ahead of time
• The woman waits at home until she starts labour, at which point she frantically calls an ambulance to come and get her, if she has cell signal
• The ambulance leaves town and drives up the bad roads and gets to the woman in 1-2 hours if she is lucky
• When the town’s ambulance isn’t available, she has to start calling her neighbors to find someone who has a motorcycle or car to drive her two hours to the closest hospital, praying that she doesn’t deliver on the road

It truly becomes a situation of life or death and this causes a lot of fear in the woman. The entire process is rushed and dangerous. Living here, where the roads are sometimes impassable, adds a whole other set of risk factors for a woman in labour.

Then I told her that God’s plan is that her baby is born alive, without complications, because God brings life and abundance in every area. I told her that sometimes God allows us to go through difficult things – not because He is malicious – but because He always uses difficult situations to bring something good out of it. I said that in this case, God could be using the situation of her baby’s position to get her attention because He wants a relationship with her.

I explained about the two roads. I told her she needs to make a choice in life about which road she wants to be on: The road of following Jesus, or the wide road. Weeping quietly, she agreed with me.

I almost ended the conversation telling her to meditate on what I had said to her…but I felt a nudge from God saying, “Invite her now”.

I said, “Maria, would you like to decide to follow Jesus today?” and without missing a beat she said “Yes.”

Maria speaks some Spanish, but it’s not her first language. So, I called Peniel to come into my office so that he could explain everything again in her native tongue and pray with her in her own language.

Right there and then, she accepted Christ! What really impacted me about the conversation was the very end, where I almost didn’t offer her the invitation. I needed to use my mouth. My actions are great – I always treat our patients with respect, dignity and compassion. But is that really “sharing my faith”? Is that “preaching the gospel”? If so, why was this the first woman, out of the hundreds and hundreds of women I have seen over 4.5 years, to accept Christ?

We spoke about how to pray and why to pray and we connected her to the evangelical church in her village. Returning to the topic of her upcoming delivery, I told her that she could pray for God to change the position of her baby in time for the delivery.

She came back the next week for her prenatal appointment and I asked her how she was feeling, if she told her family that she accepted Jesus, etc. Her first words were “I feel very, very happy. I went to church on Sunday and Wednesday. My husband sits with me when I pray, but he says he doesn’t want to accept Christ, but I think he will one day. I’ve also been reading the Bible, but I don’t understand very much of it. I think that when I learn more I’ll understand more. And I’ve been praying every day that God helps my baby to change position.”

What position do you think that baby was in that day? Yep, head down! No c-section necessary. She was amazed and said that God did that for her.

Every appointment after that, I talked to Maria about a different topic – for example, her purpose in life, making decisions that honour God, asking the Holy Spirit to help her understand the Bible.

That’s the story of Maria….but I could also tell you the stories of the other 4 people who have accepted Christ in SION in the last month or so. Two of them have had complications in their pregnancy that God cleared up the week after they accepted.

On both the maternity side and nutrition side, God is moving. I’m so thankful that God brought me to this town and our church and gave me a husband who shares the Gospel so naturally. I’ve learned that I need to actually open my mouth and then offer an invitation.  

For the 4.5 years I’ve been a missionary in Guatemala, I would describe my time here as exhilarating. It’s an amazing feeling to make a difference in people’s lives. My desire has always been to share my faith, and I thought I was doing that but now I have realized that something was missing.

Now I can say that finally I learned (finally I am learning) what it really means to share the Gospel and watch God touch people with his Spirit and have them respond. We are truly just his instruments. I’m not just His silent hands and feet anymore, I am His mouthpiece now too. And let me tell you, this new phase I’m walking in is far more exhilarating than anything else I’ve done.